Friday was not a good day. I thought that the awful way I was feeling was just a symptom of the cancer, and totally missed a small infection that was wreaking havoc on my body (two days of antibiotics later, I felt like a new person... moral of the story: don't miss the trees for the forest either)

I also got some news that was really hard to hear - a chance that there is more cancer in a different part of my breast. There were many things that made this really hard:

#1 More tests. Painful tests. Tests that are so painful that my clueless radiologist in ultrasound said to me "Oh, maybe I can find cancer in the nipple so you can just get a mastectomy and not have to do the MRI biopsy!!" (WHAT!?! Um, a major surgery is better than going through this procedure? Gee, thanks for sharing that)

#2 NOT KNOWING I am so ready to start treatment and just kill this thing and get on with my life. I want to DO something. I am a notorious planner and it is driving me nuts that I just don't know what my treatment plan is going to be and so I have to sit and wait for more tests, and then wait even longer for the results of these tests.  This is hard and frustrating in a way that is different than the diagnosis because I feel like I should be DOING SOMETHING. I mean for goodness sake, I have cancer.  But it's a lot of hurry up and wait.

Now, I know, logically, that the fact that my doctor doesn't want to just lop off my breast and call it a day is a good thing. 1 in 5 MRI results in situations like mine are a false positive so there is a hefty chance this will be nothing and I can go back to the original plan.

Everyone asks me "when do you start treatment?" Trust me lovies, I want to know as badly as you do...

But, not to be brought down I am using the next few weeks as a chance to get my body in super prime shape. My boss bought me a wheatgrass juicer. My best friend from Tulane got me a wheatgrass growing kit. I'm a farmer now. I have been eating so many antioxidants I'm pretty sure if you lick me it's the equivalent of a multivitamin. I feel awesome.

Here is a picture of one of the gorgeous, healthy dishes I ate this weekend. It's super easy (slice, stack, nom) and the fats in the goat cheese are supposed to help absorb the good stuff in the tomatoes.

1 tomato
Goat Cheese (or Mozarella, but I'm kind of a lactard so I like goat)
Basil Leaves
Optional: salt & pepper, a drizzle of olive oil

Slice tomatos. Place a basil leave on each tomato, followed by a dollop of cheese. Drizzle with salt/pepper/oo if desired. Set in fridge for 10 minutes (I swear, it makes all the flavors seep together) Serve. Nom Nom Nom.